Category Archives: Facebook

Grandpa, Lady Gaga’s Ass, and Bullying; a lesson in perspective.

It’s funny how situations bring a new perspective in your life. This week has been particularly hellish in my part of the world. Gramps took a huge turn for the worse on Tuesday and by Tuesday night we were calling in family from out of town just in case he didn’t make it. By mid day on Wednesday though he’d bounced back and was doing much better. He’s still declining, of course, but not as rapidly as we expected (at least as of this particular moment).

For me, family always comes first. Family for me also includes my closest friends. If my family needs me for something, they’re first priority and everything else comes after. So when I stayed up almost all night long in a recliner next to my grandpa’s hospital bed in the living room on Tuesday night I wasn’t concerned with being at work the next morning. I knew I had 8 hours of vacation I could use and that was all that mattered. Frankly, if I hadn’t had those hours to use I would have taken unpaid leave because what was important was my family.

When I found out that rather insensitive comments were made by someone at work because I wasn’t there yesterday, it was sort of the last straw for me. For someone (who works in a religious social work agency that is focused on family) to put work before my family frankly pissed me off. It basically just reinforced how I feel about putting my family first and how insensitive people can be when they don’t stop to think about what they’re saying before they say it.

This morning I’m back at work since Grandpa is doing better and his death doesn’t seem so imminent. I had a whole five pages of work to file so after doing that I scrolled through Facebook. I came across a photo that a local DJ posted on his FB wall of Lady Gaga. I’d been listening to him on the way to work and he was basically saying how he had this picture of Gaga that was super unflattering and he was going to post it to FB. My initial thought when hearing that was, “Why?” If the picture is so bad, why post it other than for people to make fun of it? But I sort of blew it off and went on my way. When I came across the photo on FB I had to make a comment though. The picture is of Gaga in concert and it’s basically a picture of her ass sort of hanging out of her nylons and thong. No, it’s not pretty, but every single comment under the picture was a bash at Gaga. So I said,

“I heard you talking about this on the way to work. You kept saying how unflattering it was. So why post it? Just so people can pick on her?”

The first response I got was from the wife of the DJ who said,

“She chose to live a life that is in the public eye. You can’t get mad at someone else for that.”

Then she followed that up with another comment right away that said,

“Seriously. We all know she dresses like this and goes out in public like this for 1 reason: attention. She wants the publicity. If she didn’t she wouldn’t do it.”

To that I responded with,

“I didn’t say I was mad at anyone, [Name of Wife of DJ]. I was just asking a question. Also, publicity and public bullying are two different things.”

Her response was,

“oy vey lol.”

So then her husband the DJ finally jumped in and said this,

“Exactly. Oy vey. I posted it because my job is to talk about celebrities — things they do, say, how they look and act. That’s my job. My job is also to engage people online, to get “hits” on the website. People listen to the radio station because they like music and they want to know what’s going on with celebrities. I posted it because it’s something that people will want to see. Even if they make jokes like “I’m eating.”

I understand that Gaga is a public figure and choses to be so. I also understand that if she wears clothes like she does that often fall down when she’s dancing that there are going to be unflattering pictures of her around. However, I don’t think that gives everyone else in the world the right to bully her and that’s exactly what people were doing in their comments. From things like “Ew, I’m eating!” to someone saying that it looked more like Xtina (assumingly because Gaga’s ass wasn’t as fit as usual) and then the DJ himself saying that no it wasn’t Xtina because it wasn’t bright orange (alluding to Xtina’s spray tan).

Some might say it’s “all in good fun” and part of a DJ’s job to do this, but I have to disagree. Yeah it may be a DJ’s job to provide the picture so people can see, but I don’t think it’s their job to participate in and encourage bullying and back that up by saying its okay because it’s a public figure. Would it be okay if I took a picture of the DJ’s ass and posted it online solely for the purpose that people could pick on it? No, it wouldn’t.

I’m not saying that I’m a complete angel. I’ve said and done things online over the last decade that I’m ashamed of. I’ve jumped in on flaming people online and didn’t even realize how mean I was being at the time. I joke about people online just like everyone else. I even send some rather questionable tweets out about Xtina during The Voice sometimes because of her behavior. But I think there’s a difference between complaining on Twitter about a coworker who talks with her mouth full and posting a bad picture of someone and encouraging people to flame it along with you. I also think that there’s a difference in commenting on someone’s public job performance, as in Xtina on The Voice, and just picking on a bad photo of her ass. When I complain on Twitter that Xtina’s tits are about to fall out of her shirt and she once again has forgotten to wear pants, I’m not making digs on her weight or how she looks or even who she is as a human being, I’m just saying that she’s being a crappy role model to young girls by walking around on television half clothed since she backs that up by picking on other people for not being good role models. Some people might think that’s the same thing, but to me, there’s a difference. It’s possible to point out your aversion to the behavior without being mean.

In a time where cyber bullying is so prevalent and we live in a world where people (including children) are choosing suicide because they’re being bullied, we’ve got to be a little more careful. It’s rather hypocritical to justify bullying with “She’s chosen to live a life that’s in the public eye.” I lost a long time friend about a year ago because she posted a joke on FB about the president that was so inappropriate that I couldn’t help but respond to. This is the joke,

Barrack Obama, Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey were flying on Obama’s private plane. Obama looked at Oprah, chuckled and said, “You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.” Oprah shrugged her shoulders and replied, “I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy.” Michelle added, ”That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy.” Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, “Such big-shots back there. Shit, I could throw all of their asses out of the window and make 56 million people very happy.”

I thought the “joke” was inappropriate because joking about anyone’s death in my book is not okay. I was also offended by the racial undertone of the whole thing. I pointed out that there’s no humor in wishing someone would die simply because you don’t agree with how they’re doing their job and also pointed out that they’re talking about real people with feelings and family who would be devastated if they were to die.

The response I got from my comment was a lot like what I got today. People said that because Mr. Obama was the President and Mrs. Obama was the First Lady and they were in the public eye if he wasn’t doing a good job people had the right to complain about it. I then pointed out that complaining about job performance and wishing someone dead were very different. I posed a question of “What if I worked for you and decided you were a shitty boss so I made jokes about how I wished you’d die? Then I posted them on FB where your children or friends could come across the post to see… Would that be okay?” Unfortunately, I didn’t get the opportunity to find out what the person said because the person I was friends with decided to just unfriend me so that I couldn’t respond to the joke anymore. So after over ten years of being in my life, this person cut me off and never spoke to me again. She wasn’t even involved in the dialogue back and forth; she’d just been the one to originally post the joke.

There were a handful of people today who clicked the Like button on the DJ and his wife’s responses to my comment this morning and one Like of my comment (thank you, Amber). What does that say about our society? I’m not by any means trying to claim that this DJ is a bad person. I know he’s just trying to do his job, but why does being a DJ have to include encouraging picking on people? Why does a job in the media in general mean that you have a license to be mean? And what exactly about my question was so offensive?

I argue with people all the time about how rude they are to celebrities. Someone can post something online about Justin Bieber giving tons of money to charity and I can guarantee most of the comments will be things like, “He’s gay…” “He has no talent…” “He needs to just go away…” You can like him as an artist or not, there’s absolutely NO reason to bash him like that. You can barely read any article online without someone pulling out of their ass that it’s Obama’s fault. It could be an article about why clouds are fluffy and someone is going to find something negative to say about it just because there’s a comment box available.

You know what? I don’t like Tom Cruise, but just because I don’t like him and he’s in the public eye doesn’t mean I think I can trash him to anyone else. I choose to not see his films because I don’t want to support him. When he was in the public saying awful things about clinical depression and anti-depression medications I made my disagreement known and I definitely did not support him, but not once did I attack him as a person. I don’t like Mitt Romney’s views and have been fairly vocal about disagreeing with the things he says… but again, I’m not attacking HIM. (Okay, I did share a graphic the other day that called him a “mean dick,” so maybe that wasn’t appropriate. But he was being mean with the things he said.) I don’t know if he’s a good person or not, I just know that I disagree with his way of thinking about a lot of things.

I think that people, myself included, really need to stop and think about what they’re saying before they say it (or type it, text it, publish it, record it, etc.). Disagreeing and bullying are just simply not the same thing and I think a lot of people have forgotten that. People who chose to live in the public eye are still human beings who have feelings. Sure, there are things that they have to deal with more than the average Joe does, but they still deserve to be treated with respect and a little bit of compassion. Just stop for a second and think about what it would do to you if every time you did something someone pointed out something bad about you whether it had to do with the situation or not. You post a picture of yourself on vacation and complete strangers pop up saying, “You’re ugly!” “You need to just come out of the closet!” “You have no talent!” “What a waste of space!” “Oh I just hate her!” It probably wouldn’t feel so great would it?

So why in the world would you do that to a celebrity?

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Cancer Awareness Instead of Lies

Imagine being diagnosed with breast cancer.  All of a sudden you’re consumed with thoughts of possible loss.  You might have to lose your hair because of chemo, your might have to have a single or double mastectomy and lose your breasts, and oh well there’s that chance that you might also lose your life too if the cancer spreads.  In other words you’re scared as hell.

You decide to log on to Facebook to check in on friends… maybe you’ll play a couple of games to help you avoid the real world for a while.  But when you log on you see posts from multiple female friends saying that they’re going on these amazing trips.  One says she’s going on a 10 month trip to Germany while another says she’s going on a 2 month trip to Australia.  Aside from being shocked that so many friends are taking huge trips you think to yourself that it must be nice to be able to plan something that big without worrying about cancer getting in the way.

Then you check your FB inbox and come across this…

Okay ladies, it’s that time of year again…support of Breast Cancer Awareness!! So we all remember last year’s game of writing your bra color as your status? Or the way we like to have our handbag handy?

Last year, so many people took part that it made national news and the constant updating of status reminded everyone why we’re doing this and helped raise awareness!! Do NOT TELL ANY MALES!!!!!! what the statuses mean…keep them guessing!!

And please copy and paste (in a message) this to all your female friends! It’s time to confuse the men again (not that it’s really that hard to do ;]) The idea is to choose the month you were born and the day you were born. Pass this on to the GIRLS ONLY and lets see how far it reaches around. The last one about the bra went around all over the world. Your status should say: “I am going to________________for___________ months.”

The day you were born should be for how many months you are going.

January–Mexico
February– London
March–Miami
April—Dominican Republic
May–France
June– St Petersburg
July–Austria
August–Germany
September– New York
October–Amsterdam
November- Paris
December–Australia

Aside from the ridiculous overuse of exclamation points and bad grammar, what really pisses you off is that not only are your friends LYING about a trip they’re taking but they’re doing it in “support of Breast Cancer Awareness.”  You’re facing a life changing and possibly life threatening illness and this is what your friends are doing to support the cause?

Don’t get me wrong… I love a good meme just like the rest of you.   If someone sends me a way to find out what my Star Wars, Harry Potter or porn name is I’m all for figuring it out and posting it on FB.  However, this bullshit trend of saying that these meme’s are in support of a cause is just that… bullshit.

Excuse my French but what the FUCK does lying about a trip you’re going to take do to spread cancer awareness?!  I get pissed off every time one of these so-called breast cancer awareness meme’s rolls around.  The purse one was fine… stupid but fine.  The bra one was insulting to breast cancer patients and survivors around the world.  Yeah let’s post on Facebook what color our bras are in “support” of women who might not even have breasts anymore… that’s fucking brilliant!  So this time around some genius thought, “Okay, we won’t use anything that’s connected with breasts this time… let’s just flat out lie!  That’ll be SO funny!”  Seriously?

Yes, these stupid ass meme’s do get press.  But what press do they get?  A one minute blurb on the news saying that women are posting “mysterious” status updates to FB in order to support cancer awareness.  That’s it. There’s no follow up that deals with ACTUAL breast cancer awareness!  So essentially the meme is a lazy ass way to SAY that you’re supporting cancer awareness while you really aren’t doing a damn thing.

Here’s what I propose… a meme that actually means something.  One that educates people, inspires people to help, raises funds for research/treatment, honors survivors, and remembers those who lost the fight to cancer.  One that includes EVERYONE.  Men get breast cancer too, you know?  They also love women who have or had breast cancer… it’s absolutely ridiculous to leave them out.  How do you think the man who lost his wife to breast cancer feels about your so-called support?

So instead of putting a lie up as your status and leaving out men do this instead.  Complete the sentence below and use it as your status.

I’m not posting about a fake trip to “support breast cancer awareness,” instead I am truly supporting breast cancer awareness by ____.

Fill in that blank with things that actually DO SOMETHING!  Things like:

… knitting/crocheting chemo caps to donate to the local cancer center.
… volunteering at my hospital/hospice/cancer center to support cancer patients.
…donating x amount of dollars to my favorite cancer charity.
…telling my story about how I survived breast cancer.
…telling my story about how scary it was when my ___ had breast cancer.
…telling you what it was like to lose my __ to breast cancer.
…getting a mammogram!
…driving my friend to get a mammogram.
…attending a cancer fundraiser with friends and survivors.
…giving a hug to my best friend who is  cancer patient and holding his/her hand.

The possibilities are endless really, and get this… you don’t have to LIE!  As a matter of fact, you don’t even need to stick to breast cancer… use the meme to support all cancer awareness!  I can guarantee that by doing this meme you’ll be much more supportive to those who have cancer, had cancer, or lost someone to cancer.

So what are YOU going to do for cancer awareness?  Leave your answer in the comments, post it to Facebook and by all means, share the hell out of this post anywhere you want!


The Most Annoying Tweeters (and Facebookers)

This is going to piss someone off, I just know it.  Someone will read this and will think that I’m picking on them specifically and they’ll either:

a) pick a fight with me
b) unfollow me then talk shit about me behind my back
c) silently cry in their cornflakes about it 

The thing is, I’m as guilty of most of the following things as everyone else is.   Whether I’ve done it on Twitter, Facebook, or even in one of my blogs, the point is that it’s annoying if you do it all of the time.  Everything in moderation is okay (well, alright if you’re smoking crack in moderation that’s still not good… but we’re not talking about drugs, people!), but if you find yourself doing any or all of the following things on a regular basis you might want to check yourself before you wreck yourself.  😉  If you  however don’t have a sense of humor or you simply can’t poke fun at anything, your best bet is to stop reading right now and follow this link instead.

For those of you still here… I give you The Most Annoying Tweeters (and Facebookers)!

The Woe Is Me Bullshit Tweeter

Example: “Why doesn’t anyone care about ME?“

We’re all entitled to the occasional Woe Is Me Bullshit Tweet.  That typical (and often tacky) cry for attention that we all need every so often to boost our self esteem when our followers reply with “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”  My problem however is when these are the ONLY tweets that you produce.  If your Twitter feed looks like it was written by Eeyore, it’s time to pop some anti-depressant meds and find the happy in your life.  No one wants to read about how depressing your life is all of the time.  Shoot some rainbows out of your ass every now and then, okay?

The Inappropriate Capitalization Tweeter

Example: “This Morning I Scratched My Ass And It Felt So Good!”

I don’t know what it is about Twitter, but so many people do this one and it drives me just a little bit crazier every time I see it.  You don’t need to capitalize every word in your tweet!  In fact, if you do… I’ll consider you a complete tool and will no longer follow you.

 The I Could Have Googled This Tweeter

Example: “Anyone know where there’s a Target in East Lansing?”

If you’re sitting on your ass in front of your computer, don’t tweet something that you could just as easily look up on Google or any other search engine.  It’s one thing if you’re like me and you don’t have the internet on your phone so you tweet via text messages and can’t just hop online to look something up.  But I know for a fact that there are people who are tweeting from their computer about shit that they could find out themselves.  Stop it!  At least do a Google search first and then if you can’t find the answer tweet about it!  When I see tweets like this, you know what it says to me?  It says, “Gee, I’m lonely and want someone to pay attention to me so let me post some random question on the internet that I could find out myself and see if anyone will answer.”  Yep, I said it.

 The Four Square Tweeter

Example: I just became the mayor of Pucks Shop & Save!

I. Don’t. Care.  Not only are you posting your location for the world to see (and letting people who might be stalking you or casing your home for a break-in know where you are) it’s just fucking annoying.  I know a lot of people use Four Square and they love it, I also know there are many people who use Four Square in a responsible and safe way and if you’re one of them, then Wahoo!  But there are also a lot of idiots out there and because of them, I personally think Four Square is stupid. I prefer to make up Fake Square Tweets like “I’m the Mofo Queen of @Starbucks!  Bow down to my awesomeness! #fakesquare”

The I’ve Attached Every Single Website To My Twitter Account Tweeter

Example: “I just renewed my Cialis prescription online via Drugs.com!”

Just because there is an option to connect your Twitter account to a website, you don’t have to do it!  Just like the Four Square Tweet, I don’t care!

The What the Fuck Tweeter

Example #1: “I’m so not looking forward to this.”

Example #2: “There’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back.”

Example #3: “I hate when she does that.”

Example #4: “Just shoot me now, please.”

So if all you ever tweet is random shit that makes absolutely no sense to anyone but yourself, don’t be shocked if your number of followers goes down like a high school slut on the star football player.  What exactly is the point of using a social media website to post randomness that no one understands?  It’s one thing if you’re talking in code occasionally so not to post someone’s name or whatever… but when every single post has no clues as to what you’re talking about, why bother? 

The ALL CAPS Tweeter

Example: “WENT TO TARGET AND PICKED UP THE LATEST COSMO.”

Unless you’re meaning to yell at your followers, don’t ever, ever type in all capitals. Ever.  If you do, you’re an idiot.  Basic Netiquette 101 teaches us that all caps = yelling.  If you’re on the internet and you don’t know this by now, please step away from the Twitter and the Facebook until you can learn some common sense.

The Repeat Offender Tweeter

Example #1: “Dear @FavoriteMusicPerson please talk to me!”

Example #2: “Dear @FavoriteMusicPerson please talk to me!”

Example #3:  “Dear @FavoriteMusicPerson please talk to me!”

I can pretty much guarantee that if you tweet someone the same thing 14 times a day, they’re NEVER going to reply to you!  Wanna know why?  Because it makes you look like a stalker freak!  Not to mention that it makes you look like you’re too lazy to think of something creative to get their attention.  Seriously, people.  Would YOU answer a random person who sent you the same tweet every freaking day?  I think not.

The Clueless Celebrity Tweeter

Someone recently posted on Twitter something that basically said “if you’re a celebrity and you don’t use Twitter to respond to and communicate with fans then you just don’t get it.”  I wish I could remember who said it because I SO agree, but alas, I have no idea who said it and I’m too lazy to look it up.  Before quitting Twitter, John Mayer also said something similar to Kanye West about using Twitter to communicate with the fans not as a means of promotion.  It makes so much sense… why the hell would I want to follow someone who never EVER responds to anyone?  Some of my favorite celebrity twitters are the ones who take time out to talk to their followers.  Hate on him all that you want, but @JustinBieber is a great Tweeter.  He retweets fans, answers questions, posts interesting stuff, and also makes sure to regularly thank the fans for their support.  @DonnieWahlberg is another Tweeter who loves his fans and makes sure they know it.  A famously shitty Tweeter is @nickcarter.  Yes, I love him long time but when it comes to Twitter he sucks.  Until recently when he spent a few minutes answering tweeted questions, he pretty much never interacts with his followers anymore.  He’ll make random posts, beg for more followers and then we get nothing.   Hello, a @BackstreetBoys fan completed suicide recently over some scum who was pretending to be Carter online and he didn’t even tweet about that.  His fellow Backstreet Boy @skulleeroz did though, and even the chick who does all of the tweeting for the Backstreet Boys Official Twitter mentioned it.  A simple “RIP Lana” tweet would have been enough to show he cared.  Another famously crappy Tweeter is the one and only Sean-Puffy-PDiddy-Puff-Daddy-Sean John-Combs.  I followed him for a while because I dig the guy and respect him as a business person… but when it comes to tweeting, ALL he did was promote himself!  He would beg people to buy his current song and get it to #1 on iTunes, he’d retweet messages that other people posted about how much they loved his song, and that was it.  How freaking lame!  Listen up celebrities… if I’m following you it’s because I’m a fan!  Therefore you don’t have to remind me twenty times a day to buy your cd or go see your movie.  If you do, I’m more likely to throw a tantrum and NOT spend any money on you.  Got it?

 And finally… my Top 3 Twitter Pet Peeves

  1. Reply – There is a reply function built into Twitter for a reason… you don’t have to direct message someone every time you reply to them.  If you’re that worried about people seeing what you say, why are you on Twitter?
  2. Follow Friday – If you’re going to participate in Follow Friday, how about explaining to your followers WHY you think they should check out the people you’re listing?  Very rarely will I click on some random person’s username just because it’s in a #FF post.  But if you tell me why, I’ll probably do it.
  3. Spoilers – I’ll be the first person to complain if someone spoils a movie for me or a muchly anticipated television show. HOWEVER… Twitter is about live micro blogging.  Let me say that again a little louder…   TWITTER IS ABOUT LIVE MICRO BLOGGING!  So if you’re planning on watching the American Idol finale on DVR, don’t you dare get on Twitter then piss and moan about people spoiling it for you.  In fact, stay off the damn internet if you’re that concerned.  That’s like saying, “Oh I’m going to watch the Superbowl later so don’t anyone post anything on the internet about it so that I can still be on Twitter and Facebook, okay?”  No it’s not okay!  It’s a live event and the internet is a live place!  Now, I’m not saying that it’s okay to be all “OMG could you belive that Sookie and Eric finally got it on in last night’s True Blood?!” (See how even my spoiler was fake? Uh huh…) That, my friends, is not cool.  And as responsible Twitter users we should always remember that not everyone lives in the same time zone as we do, so Tweeting “Ruuuuuben Studddarrrrrd FTW!” at 10:00 EST isn’t exactly fair to the peeps who haven’t yet reached the end of the show in other time zones.  HOWEVER… people watching a live show in which a winner is announced should still get their asses off of the internet, in my humble opinion.  Even logging onto your homepage for Yahoo! Mail will show you real time spoilers… do you yell at them for spoilers too or do you just leave that for people you know on the internet?

So there you have it… the things that drive me nuts on Twitter and Facebook.  Feel free to defriend me, unfollow me, and tell me how mean I am if you must. 😉


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Caffeine, Cuss Words, Dauchshunds, Xanax

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