It’s another flash fiction Monday! This month we were given the song “The Hammer’s Coming Down” by those crazy Canadian kids, Nickleback. It’s a really good song, and made me think of things that Norris would write like the end of the world and zombie type stuff. So of course that translated into me writing more Backstreet Boys fanfic. LOL So this is another ficlet from the Nick/Catie universe because they were the first to come to mind. It’s a little corny but hey, I got it done! Enjoy!
I looked at the nurse who’d been tending to me and sighed, “Seriously… how long does it take to get discharged? I really need to go.”
She smiled the same fake smile she’d been shooting at me for the past few hours and then looked back to the electronic chart in her arms as she tapped away on it, “Soon.”
I groaned and attempted to run my fingers through my hair, a nervous habit of mine, but stopped when I remembered the extra large bandage wrapped around my fingers. I switched to my good hand and slid that through my hair. “I. Have. To. Go.”
She didn’t even bother glancing up this time, “You can’t until I get the order.”
I’m not a violent guy by any means but I kind of wanted to smack her. Who was she to say I couldn’t leave? They’d fixed up my smashed fingers, they had all of my insurance information, and they’d called my prescription in to the pharmacy near my house. What the hell else did they need from me? I was sure that if I got my happy ass up off of the exam table and walked out that they couldn’t legally stop me. I mean, I know she was just doing her job but what she didn’t know was the collassal mess I’d be in if I didn’t get home before my wife did.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out to glance at the screen. My brother Aaron, who’d been in the waiting room while I was getting my stiches. Pansy couldn’t take the sight of any more of my blood and ripped up flesh. “Holy shit, how the hell long does this take? Catie is going to freaking lose it if she gets home before us!”
I sighed, again, and did my best to thumb a response with one hand. “Come and tell this freaking nurse that! I’ve been trying to get out of here for a while now. She won’t let me go.”
Aaron’s response was fast, “LMAO… did you give her The Smile?
“Does she know who you are?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. Growing up famous had made both of us impatient. We were used to getting our way because people wanted to please us. My nurse was not one of those people. “Doesn’t care. You can come back now tho.”
A few minutes later my brother’s blonde head popped in the door carefully. “No more blood?”
I laughed and held up my bandaged left hand, “None.”
Relief flooded his face and he finshed coming into the room, “Good. That was nasty.”
It had been nasty. It also hurt like a bitch. We’d been working on a surprize project for Cate’s birthday. She pretty much hated when I went all Home Depot on things, but I had this great idea and figured since Aaron was visiting he could lend a hand and we’d bang the project out in a few hours. No big deal. At least that’s what I’d thought.
I love my little brother, I really do. But even I can tell you that the two of us together, unsupervised, is generally a bad idea. It didn’t matter that we were both legal adults, when we get together we tend to have the decision making skills of an ADHD kid on speed. We were hammering the top of a metal table trying to make it look distressed and all fancy-like after we repainted it. It was going great, and I was really pleased with the outcome. We were making stupid jokes abut Thor’s hammer and MC Hammer while laughing our asses off. Then a particularly catchy song came on that ironically was called “The Hammer’s Coming Down” and our hammering took on more of a drumming sort of beat.
It was good old fashioned fun singing along and hammering the metal to the beat with my baby brother. That is, until I stopped for a minute and rested my hand on the table and instead of the table getting the beat down by Aaron’s hammer, my hand did. In one blow, he’d split open my ring finger and middle finger on my left hand. I thought both of us were going to vomit when we saw how much blood there was and how utterly gross the fingers looked. It made me not want to ever look at raw meat again.
The doctor told me I’d been lucky because neither of my fingers had been broken or fractured. I’d also figured I was extremely luckly that I hadn’t been wearing my wedding ring. They totally would have had to cut if off if I’d been wearing thanks to the swelling. They’d had to do some pretty creative sewing to get things stitched up and I was pretty sure that I was going to have Frankenstein scars once everything had healed.
Aaron tried working his charm on the nurse but failed. She left the room and he shrugged, “I tried.” He looked at the bandages on my hand and winced, “Dude, I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize anymore, it was an accident.”
“Yeah but…” he said and sighed. “Look at you… they’ve got you wrapped up like you lost a finger.”
I laughed and shook my head, “They wanted it to have lots of cushion, apparently. Seriously, I can’t even feel it right now thanks to the shot they gave me. Maybe later I’ll hate you, but for now you’re good. I just want to get the hell out of here.”
“Maybe I should call Cate. I could tell her what happened so that if she gets home before us she doesn’t walk into a crime scene and think that we’ve been kidnapped and murdered.”
I shook my head, “Calling her will just make her freak out even more. If we can get home and clean up the mess it’ll be better. She’s had too many bad phone calls in her life, I don’t want to do that to her.”
Aaron bit his lip and nodded, “Damn it, I didn’t think of that. So what if I send her a text and tell her we need something from the store so she’ll have to stop?”
I thought about it and then shook my head again, “Nah… we’ll be okay if we get out of here in the next twenty minutes. We just have to get home and clean up the blood, which you’re totally going to have to man up and help me with.” He faked a puking noise and we both laughed. “At least the table is in the shed and she never goes in there. We can clean that up later.”
“That sounds good. I just…” Aaron looked down at his phone as it rang and all the color drained from his face. “Shit, it’s her.”
“Answer it and see if she’s freaking out. She might just be calling from the office. If she’s calm, do not tell her anything.” I closed my eyes, praying that she hadn’t gone home early. The fact that she was calling Aaron and not me helped a little, but not a lot to be honest. All I colud imagine was my poor wife standing in the kitchen where we’d tried, and failed, to stop my fingers from bleeding before finally giving up and rushing to the emergency room. It wouldn’t be a good thing at all.
Aaron listened and gave a few one word answers before finally saying, “Uh… can you hang on for a minute?” He pressed the mute icon on his phone and shook his head, “She’s not home but she will be in ten minutes. What do I do?”
“Fuuuuuck…” I groaned. I held my hand out for the phone, “I’m going to have to tell her.”
The look on his face was a mixture of fear and amusement. He shook his head and tried not to laugh, “Dude, I’m SO sorry!”
I would have flipped him off if my hand weren’t all bundled up, “Screw you…” I shot at him with a slight grin. I took a deep breath and unmutted the phone. “Hey, babe…”
“Well, hi!” she replied happily. “What’s going on? I was just telling Aaron that I’m stopping to pick up food and then I’ll be home.”
“Yeah… Uh… I gotta tell you something before you get home.”
Knowing me better than anyone, she groaned, “What happened?”
“If I ask you to avoid the kitchen when you get home can you do that? Just until I get there?”
“Uh, no. What happened?”
“Caaatie!” I whined.
“No, Nick… what did you do to my kitchen?”
“Nothing! I just… the kitchen is probably looking like something out of CSI right now.” Her slience on the other end of the line was my sign that she was fighting herself over whether to be mad or concerned. “Babe, I’m okay!” I added quickly. “But we’re at the emergency room and have been waiting forever to be discharged. I just don’t want you to go in the kitchen and see the mess. Please?”
Her voice was that scary calm that she gets when she’s in crisis mode. “I’ll be in the living room.”
Just then the nurse came in with my discharge papers and told Aaron that we were free to go. “Thank you! We just got the okay to leave so well be there soon.”
“I’ll be in the living room…” she said again and I knew that was a bad sign.
“I love you…” I tried.
“I love you too.”
I ended the call after a few more I love yous and then gave the phone back to my brother. “Is it bad?” he asked as he slid the phone back in his pocket.
I nodded, “She’s freaking out.”
“Can I say I’m sorry again?” he asked with a chuckle as I got up off of the examination table. I shook my head and we began walking through the maze of the ER toward the exit. Just as we were stepping out into the sunshine Aaron started giggling and looked at me, “Im sorry… It’s not funny, I just keep thinking of that damn song.”
“The one that was on when all this happened…” He started singing, “This is the calm before the coming storm, This is the ripped-sky-morning, Without warning now, This is the fight that we’ve been waiting for, And there’s no sense in running, The hammer’s coming down, down…” He laughed even harder, “Catie’s the hammer and she’s so going to take us down.”
I looked at him and shook my head but couldn’t help but laugh. We always got ourselves into trouble with Cate when he came to visit. One would think that would make us think twice before doing stupid things, but it never did. “I hate you.”
“I hate you too, man.”
And now, let’s see what awesome stuff the rest of the girls came up with!