I used to say that I wished I could have one of those jobs where most of the time you have no work to do. I have one of those jobs now though and it drives me nuts. I suppose it would be different if I my job were one of those where if I had nothing to do I could easily fool around and do my own crap to waste the time until more work comes in. My favorite former boss who I still fondly refer to as Boss Man once said to me, “I rent your services for forty hours a week. But if you do all your work and all you have to do is sit around and drink coffee, then I’m happy to pay you for that. However if you are sitting around and drinking coffee but haven’t done your work, that’s when we’ll have a problem.” It made perfect sense to me and still does. Unfortunately not all bosses feel that way, and that sucks.
I would LOVE to be able to whip out a novel to read, a knitting project to work on, or open up my latest work of fiction to play with when I run out of work. In fact, if I could do that I probably wouldn’t have as much revulsion about my job. There would still be plenty of things that would drive me crazy and pick at my last nerve, but at least there would be a little more sunshine in my day.
I’m not one to use the word hate lightly. In fact I try not to use it at all. I figure that so many horrible things in the world have been done in the name of hate that it’s really too ugly of a word to use casually. For someone to say that they hate onions for example just seems too dramatic to me. By looking at the definition of the word hate, this means they have “a feeling of intense hostility toward something in a way that evokes feelings of anger, hostility, or animosity.” Really? Against a vegetable? It kind of goes along with the casual way that people treat suicide. “If I don’t get this job I’m going to jump off a bridge…” Um, no you’re not, and that’s not funny so don’t say it. Say what you really mean, that if you don’t get the job you’re going to be real upset, sad, frustrated etc. You don’t hate onions, you just don’t like the taste of them so you’d prefer not to eat them. If people said what they meant it would make things a whole lot easier.
I’m not afraid of water but I’m afraid of water I can’t see across. To be more exact, I’m afraid of being in water that I can’t see across. My thought being that if I can’t see land then I could die out in that water but if I can see land then I can potentially swim to safety or at least try. My zodiac sign is Cancer which means I’m a “water baby” and I really do love water. I love to be in it, to hear it, and to see it. I even fall asleep every night to a white noise app on my iPod that is set to play waves on a beach for several hours. I love water. Granted, when I’m faced with water I can’t see across I generally don’t go in it. When I went to Daytona Beach Shores for Spring Break in 2007 and saw the Atlantic for the first time I got about as far as my ankles before freaking out and backing up. I was more than happy to just look at the water from the shore.
I once had a psychic do a past life reading for me and she said that I hadn’t been on the Titanic but I’d been alive back then and someone who I knew was on the boat and died. I thought this was rather interesting because of my fear of deep water and the fact that I’ve always been really interested in learning about the Titanic. Not to mention that I mentioned absolutely none of this to the psychic so it wasn’t like she had any clues.
So considering this phobia of mine, which possibly stems back to past lives, let’s ponder for a moment why the hell I of all people am currently seriously thinking about going on a four day cruise this coming December. Yes, the girl who is seriously afraid of being out in the ocean is thinking about going on a trip that is specifically out in the freaking ocean.
Why, you ask? Friends, sun, and well… yes, those Backstreet Boys.
Last December the Boys had their first ever fan cruise and although I wanted to go and really thought about it seriously, the timing just wasn’t right. When they announced the cruise the deadline for the initial down payment was right around the corner and then when the second payment was due it was right in the middle of the summer concert tour which meant either tour or cruise. So basically it was really shitty planning on behalf of the cruise people and the Boys’ management. The pictures, tweets, and videos that came out of that trip however were freaking torture to those of us who weren’t able to go. I sat in the sub zero weather here in Michigan cold and grumpy while my fellow BSB peeps were gallivanting the ocean and having a blast.
This year however, the concert tickets for the summer have already been bought and they gave us a little more warning about the cruise presale for fan club members. So it’s very possible that I might be going on a cruise. The thought of this makes me squee like a little girl at her first boyband concert, and also want to puke a little bit too.
I know what people are going to think. Those people who don’t “get” my twelve year love affair with this band. Those people who think it’s just so damn funny to pick on me and make fun of me because of one particular band out of a gazillion that I like. They’re going to think this is all about the Boys. That this is all about a groupie trying to get close to four musicians by putting herself on a cruise ship to the Bahamas and back. Of course the Boys are a part of it. If they weren’t I wouldn’t even be considering it. In fact there have been many times in my life when I’ve flat out said I’d never get on a cruise ship. But… as another musical love of mine says, “Never Say Never.”
I can wholeheartedly tell you that when and if I step foot on that big ass boat, most likely with a bottle full of anti-anxiety meds clutched in my hand, it’s not by any means just about Backstreet. It’s about friends who I’ve had for the past twelve years (thirteen by the time the cruise takes place) who have been with me through thick and thin. Friends who I would have not met had it not been for the fact that we were all fans of five singing boys… Friends who have saved my life (literally) and supported me and encouraged me and just plain been there for me when no one else was. Many of these friends who I’ve yet to meet in person to hug and laugh with and thank them in person for their love. So yeah, if I can go on a cruise that’s built around a band I love, and I can have the chance to finally meet some of the greatest friends I’ve ever had, and have a blast while doing it… you bet your ass I’m going to try and make it happen. No matter how much the haters pick on me for it.